I was so nervous, and maybe right now, i’m nervous too, but so whatever, I feel more adequately..i don’t know, I missed my all thoughts..I wanted end my life and begin again, but I understand that that’s impossible get other life, i gorra change my life and fight what I live for.. In these days i just ate my moms brain saying “I can’t live here any fucking more”. i know she feels me and she understands, but i don’t know for why she isn’t want change anything, she said many times that she will do everything to make me happy but day by day I understand to get my dreams, in that way i can trust only me and to my God.. In these days I feel I’m emotional but in real I’m not, I was like someone without heart, i didn’t do anything, I even didn’t cried..That was so awkward, when u want something to do but actually u can’t do anything, even cry..
But I really want to begin everything from first. I know I can’t be happy in school, even in home, so i want change my school place, or study in college, if really i don’t care in studying cuz, i think that everybody can learn lifes important things in real life not from any books, that books not important for being smart, biggest part the people who I know, learnt so much, but they don’t have what they dreamt, cuz they spent theyrs life for fucking diploma, to show stupid people, how smart they are..You can learn anything u want, but u can do it if u really want it, exam I – I have a dream, Live in USA the meaning of my life, but right now, I live so far from America, so I could’t do anything but I learnt English and I’m cuntinuing learn it, I learnt two foreign languages, because I really wanted it, I did it with interest..So if u don’t do anything u don’t like, don’t do it…Life is too short, to follow the rules..
I’m happy cuz I have meaning of life and I’m gonna fight..The time will fix everything, I believe..