I want begin everything from the first..

I  was  so  nervous,  and  maybe  right  now,  i’m nervous  too, but  so  whatever, I  feel more adequately..i  don’t  know,  I missed  my all  thoughts..I  wanted end  my life  and  begin again, but  I  understand  that  that’s  impossible get  other  life,  i gorra  change  my  life and  fight  what I live  for.. In  these days  i just  ate  my moms brain  saying “I  can’t  live  here any fucking  more”. i  know she  feels me and  she  understands,  but  i  don’t  know  for  why she  isn’t  want  change  anything,  she  said  many  times  that  she  will  do  everything  to  make  me  happy but day  by  day  I  understand  to  get  my  dreams,  in  that  way  i can  trust  only  me and to my  God..  In  these  days I feel  I’m  emotional  but  in  real I’m  not, I  was  like someone without heart, i  didn’t  do  anything,  I  even didn’t  cried..That  was  so  awkward, when u want something  to  do  but actually u  can’t do  anything, even  cry..

But  I  really  want  to begin  everything  from first. I  know  I  can’t  be happy in  school,  even in home,  so  i  want  change  my  school  place,  or  study  in  college,  if really  i  don’t care in  studying cuz,  i think  that  everybody can  learn  lifes important   things in  real  life not  from  any  books, that  books  not  important  for  being smart, biggest  part  the  people  who   I  know,  learnt so much, but  they don’t  have what  they dreamt,  cuz  they  spent theyrs life  for  fucking  diploma, to  show stupid  people, how  smart  they  are..You  can  learn anything  u  want,  but u can do  it  if  u  really want  it,  exam I – I  have  a  dream,  Live  in USA the meaning  of  my  life, but  right now, I  live  so  far from America, so  I could’t do  anything but I learnt  English  and  I’m  cuntinuing learn  it, I  learnt  two foreign languages, because I  really  wanted  it, I did  it with  interest..So  if  u  don’t  do  anything  u  don’t  like,  don’t  do  it…Life  is  too short, to follow  the  rules..large (1)

I’m  happy cuz  I  have meaning  of life and I’m  gonna  fight..The  time  will  fix  everything,  I  believe..


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