I said. it happens, now.
People if you ever thinking that your life is gonna stay in the same tone forever, you are mistaking.A month ago my thoughts has been consisting of ” life is unfree humane torture ” and :I don’t have reason to fight, I don’t want to” “no matter” thinking about death eternely. Now I have learnt something new and so much important. Nobody has ever reached of his biggest passion whithout struggling the boredom and which is motivating to understand what you can do, what are your abalities, how much you can do and even not having your dreams in your hands right now right here, you are calm inside that in this moment in this period of your life when you do what you hate when your days are so heavy and when the surroundness is killing you and inside of you, you are absolutly not taking part of anything happens around, but you are so aware that this is the path this is what is taking you closer to your passion, literraly every second, every minute, day in day.And you feel it and it makes you calm cause this is what you should do, nothing happens itself and at the same time everything happens itself. Let me explain. The change in your life comes itself and you don’t even notice it because by trying to hunt the change for a long time you left it and it came by itself and when it comes you take it.Then it’s your time to make the real move, the exact move which you’ve been reasearching for a lot of years, now it’s time to use it, to fight it and the most important have a patience, you should fight and win it. Cause ones in your life the chance is passing by your side and it takes a look to you. Sometimes you ignore it, sometimes you understand what it is actually.So let’s move to my story and to face the real facts in my life.
A month ago I’ve got invitation to an office, to look and understand wheter I want to work there, it was just an invitation and I was so scared that I’m not enough because in that time of my life my head has been going crazy, I was feeling that I’m becoming so unhealthy. I putted so much pressure on myself, wanting a lot more than I was able to give myself. I thought, “oh well, life fucked me up much more earlier, than I expected, it whould..” and the worst minds surrounded me about death and idiotic change of my life dreams. I’ve litterly lost myself at every point. Everything I’ve been doing has been consisted of the misunderstand. I wanted to give up, I spited at my dreams, I thought they hurt me and I don’t have to fight for something not worth to be fought for.WHAT!? That what is gonna make you happy, do you remember I talked about the real happiness and how important it is for me. I just can’t give up, I’m going crazy.And then, after this mental attacks, I’ve got myself cleares up of the idea that everybody else is smarter and better than me, I should stop look at the life as a competition. My life’s mine.What the hell is wrong with me.
I have a job, now, I hate it, honestly I hate office job. we are as differant as the Mount Everest and iPhone 1 . Absolutly unrelated to each other. But I know one thing. I’m stepping into my dreams, my journey starts of earning money and can you imagine how many more journeys are waiting for me. Never say “NO” to the things you have no idea about..