Vacation, for one week, wow so much happiness. I’m like thinking what the fuck is with me, is there gonna be some day that I will be glad for everything, in school I wanted home so much, right now its gonna be so wrong to say I want back to school, but I want something unusual, I really want to change everything, like my whole leisure is zero. Today my friend called me she’s like common tomorrow go to cinema, I’m like huh ok, but I even don’t want to spend some time with someone with who I always had a really fun.But now, I know this is my fault, I changed, and I wanna be alone at all, it isn’t pleasure be with friends anymore..Cos i really don’t like, the similar people, she’s likeing whole the things I like, she wants all things I want, our dreams become similar, she’s making with me plans for future, but I really can’t say her sorry I’m not going to take a part in your plans, really so sorry..
I’m, I hate everything, everybody..I wanna be free, i don’t know, maybe i wrote it 100 times but I don’t care, my feelings so differant.I’m crying, smiling I’m really getting dumb ass.. I was afraid that I can get real mad, and I’m afraid of it right now too..Today was horrible day, I wanted to kill everyone in fucking school, I came home and I cried out, I cried so hard. I was so emotional, I was so sick and now I’m sad, I’ve got freaked..Sometimes I’m thinking why, I’m gonna see whole the same boring people and the same boring way every fucking similar day,,???Why??? That’s already from many time ago made me so tired, u just can’t imagine how much I’m tired, thats even I can’t imagine.I can’t know myself..I can’t wait some new things..I’m so afraid that I c I don’t know. Thats so so hard.I don’t have any connection with people who I live with, and they can’t understand me.
I wanna take back my childhood, I can’t say that it was something interesting or happy cuz I was always alone kid, bud it was so good that i didn’t understand a lot of things about life, life is too hard.I just hope God will help me again, because I trust only Him..