Probably passed 4 months from the day of my last post. But anyways, I’m here more grown and I want to write..
That was really hard period of my life and I felt absolutly upset down, and I don’t even want to remember that.. so I wanna begin from that I am absolutly okay with it now, and I’m also okay with the idea that you can lose someone or something so special and important for you..
Btw congrats me because this is my senior year and in may I will be FINNALY DONE with that hell, but now I’m not about that shit.. I’m continuing attend that classes and when someone is asking what are you going to do after school, and when I’m answering them thay like ‘sorry what??? i didn’t get aren’t you going to college after school’ and I’m like ‘man, calm down, I am not 🙂 ‘
ahhh that stereotypes.. and most hurting is that not everyone is believing me even if idc but like man that’s rude, if you can’t help, why not to shut your ass-mouth up.. but you know we’re strong bones and we’re not looking the shits like that and I’m trying to be positive, to care about my loved ones and to learn as much as I can.. Learning. what is that mean, sure learning by youself, by everything you see around most cool things ever, and experience you get by just looking and taking gestures, looks, situations everything you see around is just a big experience. and sometimes I even can’t control my tears but I’m really learning.. from everything.
Music, books, writing, inspirational movies. we all know how to be happy with these things.
And sure my beautiful weather is back so I’m feeling myself more than just ok. I maybe feel happiness? Idk but I’m 100 % sure I’m not sad..sure I’m being emotional, upset, done but I’m not sad. I’m also meditating and that helps a lot, even I’m a newbie.
You don’t try control me anymore. I’m not that cute baby who was your pretty thing to love.. I’ve become harder and now the pimples in my forehead, I’m stressed teen and it seems I don’t care at everything, and I even don’t wanna fix my stupid imperfections, cause I lose everything
“How can I sleep if I don’t have dreams?
I just have nightmares
How can it be?
I still believe something is out there “
Everything is out of my mind. Every damn thing
Let’s forget about everything just a moment pause it, let’s forget about past, future and now too.
Let’s love each other without any disgusting formalities ..Let’s hug each other under our favorite song we know lyrics we can sing together, or just lets run away with our minds with our old car, lets just loaf in cold and dark streets, please don’t afraid we are not alone we have each other., don’t you believe me?!
But I’m alone I can’t do it they’re trying keep me here, and I don’t have you. you’re imaginary..
Yeah..!! every single body changing and having a lot of periods in life time..I can bring my example when I was 12 I wanted to be cool kid, show how “smart” I am, I listened like an “serious” rap music tried to have attention about my taste to my friends and some unimportant things which I guess every kid is doing.. Then I grew up a little I’ve become I guess smarter and maybe you won’t believe in 2 month you can change a lot and in 13 I’ve become sad child cause I wanted my dreams more and more I’ve got more emotional and I only wanted one thing have one thing and get happy..Everything is changing I changed so much and I’m sure I won’t know myself after 2 years to.. Because this is just periods and during this periods we’re understanding what’s important for us and what is not, somebodies aren’t understand what’s more important and anybodies trying be smart and take most important things for us from that periods.. and by this way we’re creating our personality..
I’m sixteen and I’m trying take from this life most important, I wanna get smart more and more no I don’t wanna be perfect and even if I would try I won’t become perfect because I’m humane I’m created for making mistakes and the same time cool life things.. I think God giving us life for some reason. I know I’m here because of something and I’ll do everything to understand what for..
Just relax and think how many opportunities you have, look around you nobody can control you you’re as free as you want. You belong yourself